The issue with my T is almost resolved (about him saying I was testing him) but my experience at the hospital that I usually go to was a nightmare. May trigger********
This used to be one of the best hospitals in the state. Now, it's nothing more than a minimum security prison. There is no help or healing to be done there. There are very high metal fences all alone the perimeter (because the wealthy town doesn't like the thought of a psych hospital being there. ) One cannot even walk around the once beautiful ,peaceful grounds any more. There are a series of gates or fences all connected, that you must pass through. The DOC (doctor on call) discontinued most of my meds after speaking tome for all of five minutes. I was in withdrawel all weekend. I caught him in numerous lies concerning the rules and why I wasn't getting my meds. The first day my husband came to visit, it was all changed. He had to go to a different building to get a pass to get in. Since the names for the units have changed since I was there last, he just said "adult unit". He was told by a nasty receptionist that he "must be one of those restraining order cases" since he didn't know the exact name of my unit or my room number. She refused to call the nursing station or give him the pay phone numbers(as these had changed also) She finally ended up telling him to leave or security would be called. He was told that she reported him to the CEO. We figured out the reason why the phone reception was so bad. They were tapped. They also had video cameras in the hallways (without warning us before hand) and all over the outside property. I had to be strip searched and a metal detector wand passed over me. For the smokers, there was one large cage to go into and a table to sit at.
When my outside T came to visit, he was shocked and saddened to see how far down this place had come. He used to work there until the 90's. I have never felt so unsafe and uncared for in my life. There seemed to be one fiasco after another but the hospital was very good at covering their butts. My husband called the CEO and human rights officer but they refused to speak to him.
I guess there are many changes in the mental health system but this is beyond horrible. I wish I had never gone inpatient. It was a waste of time. There's more to it than just these examples, but it's so painful to go into. Especially since one of the reasons I went inpatient was the anniversary of a rape that happened at that same hospital.