I don't even think it's entirely that. It's like my brain just does a full logic stop. I don't even understand what life looks like after people lose their virginity (generally, not just mine). It's something that does not (and probably will never) make any sense to me. I just deactivated all social engagement after the rape because not only does it seem pointless, it seems . . . irrelevant.

I just felt angry. How dare they label me??

Sadly, it does -- often in ways you don't understand until later. Do you know how many professions you get excluded from? A surprising number, including (at least where I am) teaching, anything to do with the army (and not just the bits involving guns/fighting/going abroad . . . even things like procurement officers), so many posts in the government (anything requiring security clearance). It shows up on my criminal record even though I have no history of criminal behaviour and have never been accused of a crime, never mind convicted. I even find it difficult to get treated for general physical illness - like I haven't been able to get a doctor's note to explain my illness (fever and vomiting) last week - because they always blame it on my "mental problems".

The label is far worse than any of the symptoms. It justifies all kinds of hidden and damaging discrimination. As soon as I get money, I plan to sue to have the diagnosis rescinded and my medical records censured so the psychiatric history doesn't appear. It's going to cost me thousands of pounds, but I have to do it.