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If you have a good streak going, keep it up, don't fall back into the addiction, and YES it is an addiction.
Best of luck.. hang in there.. please pick up a phone before you pick up a blade. Call a crisis line, call a friend call anyone..
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“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.” Gandhi
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