I agree with guru that you probably need to stop calling yourself a 'nutter.' I'm not sure I agree about the self-defeating behavior part. We tend to use labels in our attempt to define ourselves. They can all be two-edged swords. They can have benefits and challenges.

When my son was young, I thought of myself as a 'single mother.' It was a label which helped me to have more compassion for myself, because I was struggling with problems that some others weren't. But eventually I noticed it was also a trap. It was an excuse for self-pity and for not reaching my limits.

Now I see myself as 'strong' which is nice, but I'm currently experiencing the other side of that sword in the form of extreme fatigue because I've pushed myself past my limits.

If you need to retain that 'nutter' label for yourself, that's ok, but remember labels aren't reality themselves - they're only our attempt to describe reality using language which is inherently imperfect. A label which may be useful and even empowering in some contexts may be dangerous in others.

You don't seem like a nutter to me, but I can understand why you might want to appropriate a negative term which has been applied to you and turn it into a badge of honor in a way - like gays owning 'queer'? Just watch that you don't get sliced by the other side of the sword, ok?