I've had bouts of depression to varying degrees since being a teen, but I never sought treatment. A couple years ago I started having physical symptoms - which I eventually, reluctantly, had to put down to being 'anxiety' and 'panic attacks' - which was hard for me to accept as I felt 'fine' - not 'anxious' or nervous or panicky at all - but all other causes were ruled out. When I quit work the anxiety attacks stopped for a while but I became so depressed I sought therapy. The anxiety attacks returned several months into therapy, when I finally let my therapist in, and the 'real work' started. My therapist told me that if you block something out - ie, if you dissociate a lot, don't acknowledge your emotions, feelings, the depression and anxiety - what can happen is that they will manifest as physical symptoms, (sickness, fatigue, vertigo, etc,) like the body is screaming for you to finally stop and take notice. I blocked things out for years. I thought I was being a mature adult and 'letting things go', but I wasn't processing or acknowledging my emotions or feelings at all. I was living as a 'false self'...

The body started telling me something was wrong. That I had to deal with it.

There are some who believe that the body 'remembers' - that your memories and emotions aren't just stored in your mind/brain, but in your whole body, 'cellular memories'.. I didn't know what to think of this, but I too have experienced a kind of disconnect between my body and mind.. like 'anxiety' attacks which would have me vomiting, even though in my head I felt 'fine'.. if I didn't suffer from anxiety attacks maybe I'd have put it down to some kind of virus or something - but it happened EVERY week about 24-36 hours after therapy for several weeks at a time when we were doing some pretty intense work (digging into the past, 'rescuing the inner child'...) There was also one week that my T pushed my buttons and finally got me to tap into some anger (I hadn't been 'angry' for a long long time), and what happened is that I could literally taste bile for hours, and I could FEEL the anger churning in my stomach, even though in my head the feeling had long since passed - I'd squashed it down again, not wanting to acknowledge it. My body forced me to acknowledge it. It was the strangest thing. I was awfully sick. (In this instance I had to use EFT, a tapping technique that works on meridian points, to release the feelings. It actually worked, I began to feel better almost instantly.)

I know it might sound whack, and I'm not sure I totally understand it myself, but what is helping me is working with my therapist to go back and heal old wounds, and to connect up the mind and body. Some correlate the 'emotional' mind to the inner child - and it's a matter of healing the 'wounded' child, or some might say the 'true self'.. my therapist also introduced me to something called 'the healing code' - which is kind of like praying whilst tapping into the body's energy field, to heal all known and unknown memories in the body as well as the mind.

I don't know if I'm explaining this very well..! I don't know if you can relate to any of this? You might be experiencing something different, and there are different schools of thought.. As someone very skeptical to begin with I realise how all this might sound.. but.. all I know is what has happened to me. Working with the body's energy - via EFT and the healing code, as well as with the subconscious via hypnotherapy, is what is helping me through this, and I am finally starting to feel better, and more 'connected up'..

I hope I have been of some help.