I'm glad you posted on here, and I do believe it can get better. I am a 42 year old guy and have had depression and anxiety since at least the age of 14. I think it does, as Leed said, take our full effort. Which is not to say you haven't been trying. But I have found in therapy that if I am not completely honest I am just BSing and I don't really get much out of it. I have needed to delve into the most painful parts of my life to find relief, to talk about the things that I'd really rather not talk about. And I, too, have needed to stay on antidepressants to keep from becoming depressed again. I hope you are able to find support here, and that you start to feel better. Thanks for posting!
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dailyhealing
"Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." - Helen Keller
Strange how people who suffer together have stronger connections than those who are most content. –Bob Dylan
“If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.