((((1moretime)))) My parents were abusive and neglectful. I was CSA by a neighbor and when my mom found out 'something' was going on I was punished. I somehow managed to find love in my life but I'm not sure it's real but i'm pretty sure it is. I didn't have a positive image of what love was supposed to look like. I'm lucky I didn't go down a bad road. I am working on learning how to love myself and it's really hard. The first half of my life was traumatic and I'm learning how to process it all. The hear and now moving forward since I started therapy three + years ago has been 'easy' I have goals, aspirations some self esteem when before there was very little if any BUT the past keeps creeping in. ... the memories, the emotions the self doubt and hate.

I have a new T who specializes in trauma and I'm really working on processing things. I want to be finished already :-) I wish you healing.