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The shaking, I know too well and it really stinks. I've been back into journaling and trying to note everything I am experiencing because like you said, it's easy to keep secrets like this. Apparently I keep secrets from myself as well. So I made up my mind, no matter what I think or say, I write everything. And I will have to share it with my t. No matter what. I guess if something happens and my journal dissappears I can't really help that but journaling and being open as much as you can really helps this. I'm hoping that the journal makes it to my t this week, but sometimes it has a funny way of dissappearing when I need to show it to someone but now I just bring it anywhere and everywhere I happen to go to make sure I keep track of it best I can.
Don't get hard on yourself though, these things often do take time. The mind, whether you have parts or not, can and does sometimes keep things from you and from others in an attempt to help you. It can be very hard and very confusing to work through but with time and trust it can be done.
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I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
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