Why am I attracted to things/people/ experiences that will continue to hurt/expose old wounds?

If I may also ask, why/how do certain circumstances/occurrences affect us more than others? In adulthood I was raped by someone I not accepting my change of mind. I am nonchalant about this. A few years later I submitted to a spouses requests as was easier, but this is/has affected me deeply.

gosh, I'm not sure this makes sense, but thanks.