Quote:
Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys
The shaking, I know too well and it really stinks. I've been back into journaling and trying to note everything I am experiencing because like you said, it's easy to keep secrets like this. Apparently I keep secrets from myself as well. So I made up my mind, no matter what I think or say, I write everything. And I will have to share it with my t. No matter what. I guess if something happens and my journal dissappears I can't really help that but journaling and being open as much as you can really helps this. I'm hoping that the journal makes it to my t this week, but sometimes it has a funny way of dissappearing when I need to show it to someone but now I just bring it anywhere and everywhere I happen to go to make sure I keep track of it best I can.
Don't get hard on yourself though, these things often do take time. The mind, whether you have parts or not, can and does sometimes keep things from you and from others in an attempt to help you. It can be very hard and very confusing to work through but with time and trust it can be done.
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I understand on one level that what I have done and do on reflex is a protective function. I also understand that I can learn other more useful options. I agree this is very confusing especially now I am more aware. I trust this can be done.
On the lighter side when a friend tells me something and it is not to be said to anyone else, I do 'forget' and need a clue to prime my memory.
I have often had to say it is not because I do not care, it is the request to not talk about it and it will be filed away deep. I am begining to understand why this might be...
I have had my T contact information 'disappear'. Computers really.
Thank you for taking the time I am feeling much more secure and my anxiety has decreased a notch with every bit of informtaion I have received. I hope your journal makes it to your therapy session.
G