ickydog,
i'm so glad you started this post, i was trying to talk about this in my ...monkey see monkey do thread. i feel the same way. i have been self harm free for 12years. it was really really hard the first 2 years, almost anything that went wrong in my life merrited self harm then i got married and had kids and it got better, then an event in my life caused me to revert back to old thinking but i got help and thankfully never self harmed, that was in 2004, this year has been horrible. recent events in my life are causing me to want to self harm and i'm literrally struggling on a daily basis to push these thoughts out of my mind, i know i need therapy and this is something i will be addressing. i feel like i am forever addicted to self harm, anytime in my life things go wrong this is what i want to do and i'm tired. i think even if you stop the addiction is still there because in the end it does make us feel better but it's not normal or healthy. i understand this and it frustrates me not to be able to get down to the root of the problem. just know you are not alone and i offer you support, i feel so much better knowing others feel this way and that you all stopped and that you continue to fight these awful urges, i think this takes true courage and commitment, i HAVE to keep telling myself this.