I've kind of been having a hard time with the sort of symptoms others could notice, like being all jumpy and on edge and having a ridiculous startle response, or unsteadiness, which results in me looking nervous and easily dropping things and that sort of thing.

I mean it sucks to have that in general, but for me the worst is I can't hide those symptoms at will and its hard to deal with being around people when it happens because it makes me feel vulnerable and rather humilated. This was even an issue before I dropped out of college. I remember one time I couldn't keep my hands steady and had a quicker heart rate and breathing so I went and hid in the bathroom till I could bring it under more control because I didn't want anyone to stare.

Also the harder I try to control it, the more apparent it all seems to become. Then there is whole feeling of not wanting to seem 'weak' when there's people about that might very well ridicule me or worse. I am probably also too hard on myself because I just want to be able to stop it...but I can't and then at times I feel ashamed to go anywhere because of it.