Definitely not cheating, but I understand how you are feeling. When I write things out for t I also feel it is important that I read them aloud to t. I don't write stuff out too often but I do when it's a deep topic and I am afraid of forgetting something I feel is important to share. I've been trying to go from reading it verbatim to just referencing the writing like notes. I look at it as small steps: first not sharing at all, then sharing by reading what I wrote, then sharing by referencing what I wrote and hopefully some day just saying it.

Focus on that fact that you were able to share it. That is important.