TD, I know it's really, really hard, but do you think that you could try to find another counselor? You're in so much pain and have some tough things to work through. Sometimes it takes completely going into despair and then some for things to start turning around. I know that you had a very bad experience with a previous counselor and this one seems unable to meet your needs, but there are some good ones out there. Did you try the Psychology Today website? (Are you in the US?) I found my wonderful T there and others on PC have reported the same. http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/

Keep posting. It's so great that you were able to express your needs to your counselor. She might not be the right one for you, but there are good ones out there! I wish you the very best of luck.