(((idontknowwhattodo)))

What horrible emotions and memories to be working through.

I second Moodysmood ~ working with a therapist would be most helpful for you.

In my opinion, DBT might be the most helpful to you. This type of therapy teaches us the differences between situations, interpretation, physical reaction, emotional reaction, and how we respond. The situation may improve or worsen significantly. DBT also teaches the many different emotions that human beings feel from time to time.

Very gentle hugs to you ~ hope that you get into see a T very soon. Do ask about DBT group asap.