I understand about looks. I was bullied a great deal in my youth about appearance. My teeth are fine, but my face is not so great according to pretty much everyone growing up. It was so bad that now I can't see any prettiness in my face at all. I'm also very poor and can't travel. I'd love to take my kids and husband on adventures, but we can't all even go in the car I have because it's run down and only enough seat belts for one kid at a time. As for accomplished, I feel like a huge failure. I wanted to be a doctor and a novelist but instead I'm a secretary who is hated by her bosses...

But those are only bad things. I'm a great singer. And a good mom. I'm a kind person. I am smart even when my illness is trying to tell me otherwise. Like others have said, you have to make a list of the good qualities.

I, too, have fought the suicide demon, since I was twelve years old. Suicidal ideation is a symptom of the greater illness. It's a dangerous one, yes. You can't let your guard down or turn your back on it. It's telling you these lies and stories that your not as good as your friends. But you are! I'm sure your friends see all the wonderful qualities in you and that's why you're their friend.

You have had a hard life, but that doesn't make you a bad person. Just because you have the strength to post your worries is enough to show you're not done fighting! You belong in this world and are an important part of it, even when it's too dark for you to see that.