Well,

I think I lost my T.

I had promised to have 4 sessions with her and this was my 4th. She asked me, do you want to continue?

I couldn't answer.

This feels like a power struggle to me. Like she wants me to say "I need your help." I was already coming every week, on time, paying. Why did she have to make me make a decision?

I couldn't do it. I wouldn't let her force me. She gave me her card and said to call IF I want another appointment.

I want to cut my arm into bloody ribbons. I'm sitting here with wallet in hand ready to go the the pharmacy and something made me sit and write this.

I really don't think I cn get better ever, I feel sl bad and I just watn it to stop.