Sending you very big hugs. Sometimes I think the T wants us to realize when we do need help... and then to ask for that help. There is nothing wrong with asking for help or needing help. And it takes courage to ask for what we need. If you need to see T, you have to find the strength to ask for that connection and state your need.
Doing that was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn in therapy. But it is a valuable lesson. And when we learn how to ask for what we need, many things can change for us.