Quote:
Originally Posted by 1tash1
Sex drive ok not to sure about this one she tears me up at least 4 times a week.Unless she is pms,it all went south why not sure,she not touch or even act like she wants anything to do with me tears me up bad,I trying to stay focused but is tough, I keep trying to behave cause I have never went with out it, guess I not going with out it, I can have it ,I have to do it by my self ,she just acts like get ur done if U must not cool can't take that much longer, she needs to show some some affections,
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okay 1tash1,
I think I get what you're saying here as well. Your sex life is understandably important to you, but she routinely says "no" or gives into your desire (sort of) by allowing you to have your way. You are feeling ____, and you should feel free to ring this important topic up in counseling. It does take 2 to tango, and it's a lot more enjoyable when both partners are involved in the experience.
My ex-hub and I did work with a sex therapist, for a little while, a couple of years after we got married. That was due to my discomfort, as I was SA'd in my childhood. Years later, I still have a hard time every now and then. I need to feel
emotionally loved, and not just be a "lay". I cannot accept that.
I have no idea whether or not this is an issue with your wife, but it certainly is for you, so you need to talk about it. You're going to have to accept that some changes will be slower to change than others. Maybe the both of you agree on a couple of topics, that would be nice & reassuring! You also can expect that it would be most healthy to have both of you changing your expectation levels of one another. Maybe one of you needs to loosen up on sexual demands, while the other needs to speak up to get emotional needs met.
Does that make sense to you? Hope so! Best wishes to you and your wife.