I used the word attractive for lack of a better word.
I am not conceited, nor do I act that way.
I probably am guilty of overcompensating with my looks to cover up my inner insecurities.
I have had an eating disorder for just this reason.
I'm not one of those bimbos some of you may be picturing who goes around expecting doors to be opened for them. I pay for my own stuff.
Im highly independent. Im also into the green movement and animal rights and advocating for children, etc. I have a hard time projecting my inner beauty, because I do feel insecure and shy.
I also think I create my own problems to some degree by worrying so much what I look like. for instance my hair is brittle cuz I like it to be bleach blonde. I think bleach blonde hair and big boobs are hot, but a lot of people cant see anything else but that.
I also hardly think that having natural colored hair and natural features would help my insecurities, not saying there is anything ugly at all about that, but I am just saying it wont change me on the inside just like my blonde hair doesnt change me inside.... so Im just trying to figure out how to have both.