New Fun thing with me this last weekend.

This time My significant other's parents. (S/O for short here).

So this is what happened on my side-
Sorry if it is long-

We went over to have dinner with them after they called and said they were making it for my S/o's birthday that was on Friday- which is all well and good.

• We get done with dinner, and his parents gives him a card and his Dad right off the bat says " Don't let Beauflow see it; she'll get upset" - His mother then chimes in with "yeah don't show it to Beauflow"- they said this at least three to four times. I of course feel like- ok- why? I am utterly confused and feel ostracized by now with how they have done this

• S/O looks at it and then puts it back in the envelope-

• I look at S/O and say "Are you serious?" I will admit I said this in a mean tone and I am sure look, this mainly due to I am already upset with this whole "Don't let Beauflow see!!" and now I am wondering wtf they just gave him.
• S/o gives the card to me and I read it- It is a simple dirty card which is like whatever- I am angered that they were like Don't let Beauflow see it - don't show it to her She'll get upset-. I am obviously out of the loop on something- and it is coming across to me as if they want him to cheat on me or something. This is due to it is upsetting that content of the card and how they are acting is like- Cheat on Beauflow- which is a message that I am getting hidden from his father right now. (The Card had a pretty blonde in a bikini and said something to the point of always have coconuts that don't hang and your tree stays up).

• By this Point- I don't want the damn cake- I am so angry with how I just have been treated and I feel like they are making fun of me in some sick joke as well, that I am about to bolt out, exploded with words or just break down and cry- Instead I sit and stair out the window- his Mother did ask me some BS question of like Do you like romance movies- and I was very sarcastic by this time towards them and said No- I am into other things. I can't think straight either due to my madness in my head.-
• My S/o has seen me like this- he knows I am furious- I am quiet due to I don't want to make a scene, i don't want to say something I regret and he takes me out side for a cig, he explains that Friday NIGHT (before we went over) he told his Dad he did not want a dirty card, he did make the excuse that I would get upset (which is partially true but not the total truth- he just did not want a dirty card as well due to some issues he has been having). S/o says to me that they are just ignorant; he told them he did not want a card like that and he really meant it. we go back in; I grab my bag- I am ready to leave.
• His mother hugs me before we leave and says "I love you!!" I say "yeah".... I am sorry to be this way, it is cold i know, but the actions of what they just have done shows me that they do not care about me- they could care less of my feelings, and they think it is fun to do which i just am not into
• In the car i say- I will be nothing more than an outsider to these people. S/O disagrees with that. He keeps asking why am I saying that. I just keep saying I will always be an out sider to these people and that if it was not obvious of what they did, i can't explain it.
• Of course S/o and I talk about this later Saturday night- I kept saying sarcastically that I was sorry that I was being over emotional to which S/o said I was not being overly emotional- he did/does understand of where I was coming from; he says it is fine if I don't want to see his parents for a while.
• To be honest this was a pretty bad fight for me- I locked myself in the bathroom and was getting my arms ready. he pounded on the door and I came out... In retro spec I wonder if he is just saying he sees my side due to he knows my urges for sui and this really hit me hard.

The only thing we disagree on right now is that S/O says his parents are ignorant BUT they don't mean to hurt anyone.

I, on the other hand, believe that them being ignorant is not an excuse and they are aiming to hurt or just don't care a flying "duck". Ignorance is a choice for people to be- and especially this type of ignorance of being asked not to do something, but then do, and make it worse with their actions.
Their actions have shown me they do not care about my feelings- which is true- S/O used the excuse I would get upset with such a card (even though not full truth that is what he told them), but they still gave it to him and made jack asses out of themselves.

I will be honest, yeah just by it self the card would had gotten to me a little, but It would had waited till we got home that I would mention anything to my S/O... But with how they acted is really the hitting point for me... the card just adds more to it.
I keep wondering what are their hidden message by their actions and this card to my S/O is there as well... I am obviously still upset with them and I do believe that is part of my emotional thinking but yet it is so logical at the same time too.

His mother did text me saying they did not mean to hurt anyone- then she texted S/O with- His Dad's humor is misunderstood-- If this is humor for him, to make fun of me, to exclude me, to encourage S/O to hide, lie, and perhaps go find coconuts that are better (but don't tell Beauflow!) Not only that but disregard what their own son has requested- they can just not be a part of my life-

I told my S/O i would not be going to their house any time soon; He could still go see them-- I told him I don't talk to peopel that make me feel like ****......

I can understand if no one really gets this- it could be a "had to be there" moments but I have tried best to discribed what happened from on my side of things.

My problem right now -- Is My S/O and i have made up- Sunday was a beautiful day and we made up and went to the mountains..... Monday I have thought more on this-- I have gotten to the point of believing they do not see us as a couple.


I feel married to this man, and in a good way- we have been together for 3 and half years. Yeah I have issues- I have flaws, and I can be a handful and we have disagreements but we talk and make up when we are calmer.

My Problem- lets get to- is that I just feel like writing a note or just talking to them- but it wont be nice- due to I will tell them that their ignorance is what has caused problems with their first born child and his wife, and now with me--

The problem with this also is that I may go a little to far and reveal things that my S/O has "hidden" from his parents....... I doubt it was hidden though- as I had mentioned a bit ago to my S/O that they were neglectful parents to him in ways-- He uses the excuse that i have nicely tried with my mother- They were overwhelmed.... I don't accept it.
I am sorry if this is harsh but for a Mom that is loving, taking care of her kids, and not to note the mood change, the behavior change, the bruises, the burns, the scratches; eventually scars--- (I find it hard to believe that it was covered so well by a 5-9 year old)..He even manifested migraines due to the abuse and stress,. Then he started to do hard drugs at 13, he left home by 15 and from what I was told from my S/O- they did not really care- they just let him leave; no help and just let him continue on the drug path that could had killed him..... he came back in his 20's after he had cleaned up for the most part but was lightly using-- still no help from them..... I think that is neglectful for a parent.. A 13 year old doing hard drugs and you are not getting them help; talking to them or what not.

My mom used to watch me come home, think I was od'ing and just let me "go to sleep" and wonder if I would wake up- (She told me that by the way)--- I know that is my story but it is similar to his and I can not just turn my head and say -- they were not that bad... It seems neglectful from what my S/O has told me- In addition he holds BLAME ALL OF IT- not his parents.... and yes with all that has happened recently- (MORE THAN What was this last saturday by the way but that is what is cutting the cake for me); He can't be honest with them as I have noted through the years- Everthing is fine- DOn't upset them with reality it seems like..



I am a little fed up- My problem is I feel like just screaming, I don't think I will be able to talk-- I could write with out going to far; but still what I have to write still they wont like due to it would be true.



How do I just let this go----- I know I need a therapist- i have never denied that-


I realize I wont get validation from these people- so why waste the energy with this anger with them right now.... I suppose time.. ranting on line, and writing may help.. idk though...

any thoughts that are positive that aren't "your so messed up" would be nice...

thanks in advance.