TTUAH,

I appreciate you telling me that. And it is SO nice to hear that you WANT to support your partner with their struggle with PTSD. There is so much available to read about PTSD that talks about the symptoms experienced and even the parts of the brain that is effected. But, the one thing I didn't really find (that I could hand to my family members) is what it is really like for the person who is really struggling with PTSD and what kind of support is the best help for them. And because the symptoms can mimick other disorders, it is very important that the person with PTSD have access to a therapist/pdoc that specializes in this disorder. Otherwise the sufferer can get diagnosed with several other disorders unfairly and end up on way too many medications.

Well, for me, because that wasn't there, instead of getting the support and understanding I needed, instead my family said all the wrong things to me and even got angry with me, even punished me for something I truely could not help.

And the important thing for PTSD sufferers to realize is that if they are suffering from PTSD and some of the people who contributed to the PTSD are around them, it can make the PTSD much harder to work through and even really aggrivate it leading to some very dangerous thoughts as well as a desire for even more isolation, feeling powerless and even wanting to give up. This is exactly what happened to me. And it took so much of my energy to read about PTSD and try to understand it, while experiencing it and GETTING NO REAL SUPPORT.

Someone who is suffering from PTSD that can go back to their childhood is reliving many of the feelings from being abused and NEGLECTED and THERE WAS NO PRESENCE THERE TO HELP THEM, AND SOOTH THEM , AND REASURE THEM, OR EVEN VALIDATE THEM. The best way to HELP someone who is struggling with PTSD is to BE THAT UNDERSTANDING AND VALIDATING PRESENCE FOR THEM THAT WAS NEVER THERE. Understanding that the person who is suffering will experience a lot of emotional confusion and even anger is very important. If a person with PTSD can express their emotions whatever way they come out and are met constantly with encouragement and VALIDATION they do much better. And this recovery process can take more than a year depending on what the person suffering has to address. And often that person cannot say all of what it there either and they too are often surprized and confused as all these memories and emotions come forward.

People who struggle with PTSD are often VERY tired and will repeat things over and over. They will be very confused and angry at what is coming forward as well. They will constantly desire rest and also say, "I need a break" or "I am tired of dealing with PTSD" or "I just want to go somewhere all by myself". And they will really wonder if they will ever get better, ever be able to deal with other people, ever have a future, ever be the same, ever be understood, ever stop being so sensitive to their environments as well.

Supporting someone who is struggling with PTSD can be very demanding. There is a chance that someone who is around the sufferer and trying to help, CAN, experience secondary PTSD as well depending on what THEY have in their pasts that troubled them. However, if the supporter understands what is happening with the person struggling and just keeps listening and reasuring and ACCEPTING the person who is struggling, they can fair much better. Personally I feel there should be good programs that assist those who are living with or in the presence or have a family member who is suffering from this disorder.

I talk alot here, often write long posts too. But that is because I have been suffering in an environment where I have been very misunderstood and did not have the support I truely needed. At least I have a therapist who is experienced with and has treated others who have this disorder and CAN listen, listen, explain and validate me.
Along with the comfort of PC and having access to others where I can hear, ME TOO.

Yes, I could write short posts but I don't I have just let out everything in the hopes that others will too and that is where the HEALING begins. "I AM NOT ALONE, SOMEONE ELSE IS EXPERIENCING THIS TOO, SOMEONE ELSE UNDERSTANDS ME, HOW HARD IT IS, HOW HARD I AM TRYING, HOW EXHAUSTING AND LONELY IT IS, HOW HARD IT IS TO EXPLAIN, HOW NO ONE HEARS ME, HOW I WANT TO GIVE UP. BUT HERE IS SOMEONE WHO IS HELPING, HEALING AND GAINING TOO, SO MAYBE I CAN TOO.

Open Eyes