Not to beat this subject to death, but I agree with a lot of things you guys are saying, and some I guess I feel a little bit offended by... Sometimes it's really hard for me to take criticism. In this case I totally reached out and asked for it though, so I do appreciate it all.

I think Im probably being too hard on myself and regardless of what I look like, I need to focus on my self esteem. And i need to lose weight too, but I think I would be much happier with myself if I wasnt so insecure and then that can shine through and enhance my "attractiveness". Im realy a very nice person with lots of good qualities, but I guess not many people get to see that part, and many just assume its not there. A lot of women dont like me because of the way I look. (happens all the time cuz women are jealous and competitive by nature.) There are the rare few who eventually get to know me, and they indeed like me for who i am. So you know, Im just gonna keep doing what im doing as far as looking as hot as i see fit, and Im gonna work on feeling more secure. maybe work on my ptsd first off.