perhaps my being ok with it is the same reason i am the way i am.

or are we talking about socially weird or clinically abnormal?

i am both. i realize my place is in both. i take both as being just me rather than something that was added on through ill/bad mental health. probably because i have no life to look back on and say "i was once like this". i dont have that.

on another forum someone said when they get delusional or have hallucinations they keep it inside and withdrawal and a family member ends up taking them somewhere or something.
i told them its the opposite for me. i said i show it outward. i end up going out in public with it and police or someone random person reports me.