View Single Post
 
Old May 22, 2012, 02:02 PM
LizardQueen LizardQueen is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: May 2012
Posts: 3
I have recently been diagnosed with GAD. I think this diagnosis may be wrong.

At the age of 16 I was seeing a man who was 26. I got home one night to find him in bed with someone else. I took and overdose.

Since then, every relationship I have had has been fraught with me being paranoid about what my partner is up to. I obsess over the idea that they are cheating on me.

I have images of my current bf with someone else. I constantly accuse him of lying and go through his phone, his internet history and even his ebay feedback to try and look for evidence. I have wild mood swings, I am calm and then have angry outbursts.

One minute I am feeling on top of the world, the next I am doubting myself. I have frequently shoplifted and have told lies to people to get attention or to get my own way. I do things I would not be happy with my partner doing, such as flirting with other men to get attention.

I disect every detail my boyfriend tells me in case there are inconsistencies. I hate it when he criticises me and blow up at the slightest thing. I have a massive fear of rejection and being left, I often leave people before they get the chance to hurt me. I push and push and push. My current bf is at his wits end and I dont know how to stop this destruction. I go over and over in my head about his ex girlfriends and how they must be better than me and that he might still want them.

I think and think and think about different scenarios of him cheating. I plan my next move, i.e. count the condoms in his bedside drawer, check his emails etc etc... I tell him these things and he says that I am the only girl he wants and he will stand by me and we can get through this together but I constantly find reasons why we should split up. Just today and decided that I couldnt cope with the long distance (hes an hour away) and he said he wasnt coming to see me this weds so i had a major tantrum and told him it was over. I finish with him repeatedly and he stands by me.

he spends £160 a month on petrol coming to see me so this tells me hes commited but I still cant get rid of the idea he is cheating.We split up last year and he went elsewhere for attention and lied to me about it. Now I wont let it lie and bring the lie up as my reason for not trusting him. I am losing a grip on what is my intuition and what is reality. I keep telling myself he must be cheating if I think it so much. The thoughts are in my head constantly. He phoned my from work to tell me he was giving a guy a lift home and I didnt belive him, I told him he must be taking a girl home but lying about it. There is no proof there whatsoever that he is cheating on me, why would he put so much effort in to this? My world is being ripped apart by me being so paranoid and insecure and I dont know what is wrong with me.

I was diagnosed with health anxiety last year becuase i was obsessed with my health ( i was single) then I met my current partner and my anxiety shifted to him cheating.I used to obsess about my kids getting ill too and would visit the doctor every week.

Please help.

Last edited by FooZe; May 25, 2012 at 12:30 PM. Reason: at OP's request