(((Illegal Toilet)))

You are NOT a loser. You are a loveable, kind human being.

I agree with the others who posted back to you ~ many of us can relate to being convinced by our negativity that we're just evil slimeballs that don't deserve love or life. That is our mental illness kicking into overdrive there. Coming up with all sorts of dark thoughts, wishes and fantasies. But they are not real!

Please do reach out for help in therapy. You may need some meds to help you re-gain more control over the dark thoughts that pop up sometimes. Just because you share these thoughts, doesn't mean that you're going to be locked up either. They really don't want to lock people up nowadays, and will only do so when they pose a serious risk to themselves or others. So, you have nothing to fear. Please do get some help.

Best wishes!