I'm not around people enough to get asked the "How are you?" question often. One thing I do when asked -- I don't remember where I learned this -- is not answer and pretend to check my pulse. I then look at them and say, "I'm fine." Of course, the subtext is that the "fine" is only a certain soundness of the body and nothing more.

I get some strange looks and the occasional laugh.

Go ahead and vent, friend Mike_J...