I'm not around people enough to get asked the "How are you?" question often. One thing I do when asked -- I don't remember where I learned this -- is not answer and pretend to check my pulse. I then look at them and say, "I'm fine." Of course, the subtext is that the "fine" is only a certain soundness of the body and nothing more.
I get some strange looks and the occasional laugh.
Go ahead and vent, friend Mike_J...
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My dog

mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.