O this is not very good...

Someone who reminds us of our abuser was being authoritative with us, and then my entire system went whack. Next thing I know my psychiatrist has his hand on my arm and there is blood all over my clothing and me.

I mean basically this man, a caseworker was being authoritative, my little one tried to hide in the corner, he chased us, to continue to be authoritative, then someone else took over who "hurts before anyone else can hurt us" to protect this little one. And then I switched back this tiny little one. I know that she's really really small, because all she wanted was my brother. Two police officers walk in and they were wearing the same uniforms as my brother and she says "do you know my brother" and they say "Jeff" and she says "yes" and they say "do you want him?" and she says "yes I want my big brother".

I was really close to my big brother was I was younger and we haven't been close since, so I think he was confused when I asked him to hold me.

Now I'm sort of ashamed of that.

The ambulance took me to the ER and I had switched back to something normal and I don't even know who I am now. I just know that I'm someone safe. I'm just a little shaken up. I am really worried that I have two parts that are on the rocks now though.