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It seems like everytime the subject of my mental health comes up, it just turns into a stressful argument. I don't understand how someone who is supposed to be there for me never really seems like they want to be there and come through for me completly.
The entire situation pretty much starts out the same, with the same middle and end. I am trying to vent a little with my mom. Then when I say something like, "I feel like I'm empty" or "I feel tried and worn out." she thinks its okay to respond with "Are you depressed? What do you have to be depressed about? No one's ever done anything to you..."
... and that's when I just shut her out completely. Because I don't have a valid response. I know that people, a lot of people, have had it worse than me. And maybe the things that trigger me are small and pathetic, but dose that mean I don't have the right to feel anything? She always tells me I need to get a backbone and toughen up. That I don't have time to be this way, and stop making excuses.
Truthfully she dosen't know to much about my life. I have always made sure that she dosen't. So maybe that's my fault too, for not being honest from the start. I don't like how this feels. Knowing that everything wrong with me is probably my own fault. I should probably talk to a professional but its hard when your own mom dosen't seem to want to give you the opportunity to.
She thinks it goes away on its own, and it just comes back "once in a blue moon." but its really just me supressing everything for as long as I possibly can, till I crack. She makes me feel insane.
I'm really just venting though, and I want to vent more but these thoughts are giving me a bad headache. So I'll just stop now.
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Dream as if you live forever
And live as if you die today
---------- Lyrics from a song by One Ok Rock, about living life to its fullest. 
Last edited by ThinkingAboutClouds; May 22, 2012 at 09:18 PM.
Reason: just some typos, i should have spell checked first
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