Okay, welcome to PC,
Let me tell you, first a proper and real DX should be through a psychiatrist, a psychologist is okay, but a pdoc can then further prescribe meds to help stabilize you.
The longer you do not seek professional help the worse things may get, if you truly are Bipolar.
Self-DXing, is not good, leads to more unecessary stress.
We all know that, I'm sure. So many things can mimic Bipolar, physical and not always psychological stuff, so first step is have a physical, rule out thyroid,diabetes, and hormonal stuff, they are huge factors in whether you are or are not Bipolar.
Sad to say, GP's today start writing out scripts for AD's and not looking deep into the fact there may be some underlying physical problem, so first rule out any physical stuff.
Then see a T or best, a pdoc, but see what the T says, if that does not hit it,you are uncomfortable, go to the next step . . . a pdoc.
This may have come across to be overwhelming, but if my advice can save you a few years of anguish,frustration,depression,wondering, and pain, then I feel I have made some point, no matter how minute it may be.
Lots of luck with this, and feel free to come here and let us know how all goes.
Take care,
DE

BTW
Yes, life is tough, and as one grows older, matures, things may start to make more sense . . . I'm still learning, and I'm 49yo.
Life is tough, but you also have to work at it, yes, it's a challenge at times, but either you do it or not, no one is going do it for you, maybe a few days/months, but not for the rest of your life.
And if you get to be so weak,not get help,then it is all a cop out. There is help, go grab it, if you need help, then ask for it. We've been there and done that, and if you wish to overcome or beat this monster half way, you have to work at it, if you can't alone, ask for help.
I learned, the hard way, being "too proud", gets you no where, when it comes to mental health issues.