I am a adult child of an alcoholic father. I have 5 younger siblings and everyone are on their own course of how they cope with the dysfunction in our family. I've gone through years of therapy and read many self-help books to help me cope and heal. It is still a work in progress for me and I am turning 30 yrs old in 2 weeks.

The youngest of the siblings is 16 and she came to me today expressing me that she realizes how much she 'hates' our dad. She ask me if this is just a phase of being a teenager or is it deeper than that. Will this last forever and she wants to know where is it coming from. Being that I am the oldest I tried my hardest to the core of my being to shield the pain and abuse from all of my siblings. No matter how much I protected my siblings still they felt the pain and trauma.

I told her that what she's feeling is valid regardless if its just a phase of being a teenager or that our family is dysfunctional. I said that it will take a long time to work through our feelings but it is possible to get through all that we've been through. I told her to stay strong and how proud I am of her that she's aware of how she's feeling.

I told her that I have a few self-help books that has helped me understand and helping me get closer to healing, on the subject of adult children of alcoholics. Being that the books are for adults would it be best for her to read books for teenagers instead?

I feel for her, my heart aches for her because I can really relate to how she's feeling. I feel such guilt that I wasn't able to protect her enough from the pain of my parents. How do I help her, when I am still hurting? How do I help without imposing my own pain?