It doesn't sound to me like he has conquered his abusive nature at all...he has simply moved from being sexually abusive to emotionally abusive. The stuff he says to "turn the tables" on you...claiming that he is a victim, saying that he shouldn't have to relive the "pain" over and over, and telling you that you shouldn't talk about his abuse with others becauseof how it affects him...those are all classic things that abusers say to maintain control over their victims.

You deserve credit for having the strength to face this man...and you are absolutely right, you are not responsible for him or his feelings. Just keep telling yourself that to muster the strength for the rest of your visit.

You will be in my thoughts.

(((((purebugg)))))

mj