It all reminds me of Peter Griffin in Family Guy: "Let's go drink until we can't feel feelings anymore."

Through what I have been posting lately, I realize something. Honestly, I don't really feel feelings. It's as if I have a intellectual awareness of them, in a manner of speaking, but can't really feel them. My brain says (in a very Vulcan manner), "Look at all you've been through, you are sad." Do I cry? No. Do I really feel sad? No. I feel somewhat depressed. Tired.

There is a block. In trying to figure out what the desires were related to T (holding or touching me in some way so I can cry), I think I discovered the answer. I want the block gone. I want to access the feelings. I have no idea how.

And it's a week before I see T. Of course I've received no call or email from her. There is almost never a cancellation and if there was, she probably didn't let the office staff know that I wanted the slot. She's still pretty forgetful.