Chopin, I tried to explain to my T yesterday my internal "rules" for having an emotion. First, I had to check to see if the emotion was rational. Does it make sense for me to be having this emotion about this situation? If no, well then, I don't have that emotion. Second, even if the emotion makes sense, is there a point to having this emotion? Will anything change as a result of my emotional response? No? Well, then what's the point of feeling anything about it? It just IS.

My childhood was horrible and abusive. So? Although it would make sense to be angry about that, what will my anger change? Nothing. Therefore, I am not angry about it. I have a headache and a stomach when I think about it, but I am not angry. Nope. Huh uh. Not a bit.

My T's work has been to get me to see that I get to be angry even when it solves nothing. I get to be sad just because I'm sad. I get to feel. I'm still trying to decide whether that's a good thing or not.