Ok, so here I am right now struggling. After I wrote this I had it again and I just don't know what to do about it. I KNOW THIS IS REAL and it is so dibilatating and upsetting. I want my mom SO BAD and I AM SO UPSET in this. I REALLY WISH I COULD CALL MY MOM AND TELL HER SOMEHOW TOO. And a lot of times when I do talk to my mother I end up crying. I wish I could tell her but I don't want to upset her as she is 86 and it might upset her too much. It is just like she is right there and I want to tell her so badly you know? And then I feel like I wish I didn't know this or it wasn't true too. I think what good would it do because she can't tell me what happened, she wasn't there.

Has anyone ask their T about this? Why do we have to experience these things?
I don't want to remember this, it is just too upsetting and it wipes me out.

Open Eyes