I have officially crossed that line from one step away from melting down to full on meltdown. My uncle died. My mother called to tell me and in the process had to tell me what a bad person I am and how I should just be able to "let things go." This from the woman who has not spoken to her sister in almost 30 years, and did not speak to my now deceased uncle for 20 years. She just started speaking to him again at my dad's funeral in October. She was crying hysterically about how I do not love her and hung up on me. I called back, more hysterical tears and sobbing about why do I have to do these things to her and she hung up on me again.

I ended up calling my T, who in his return call asked me why I called him. Because I'm a big ****ing needy baby and I'm stupid??? I DON'T KNOW. Anyway, his point (very poorly made) was that I was blaming myself for calling him as well as for my mother being upset and none of what I had done was blameworthy.

THEN because I need more stress in my life, I took my daughter home from school to discover that my husband forgot to make the electric payment and we have no electricity. AND he forgot to make the deposit in our account so we had no money to get it turned back on AND we have two overdraft charges. So, had to rush around getting money in the account and then to the electric company so maybe we have electricity later tonight. And try to act like I was not weeping in the drive thru line at the bank. Got back to the office and cried in the bathroom for a while. Then my mother in law called me and all I could do was weep on the phone.

And as I predicted to my husband, my mother would not call me when she found out about the funeral arrangements. She called and gave the arrangements to my husband and told him she had forgotten my phone number. As if she had not already called it today, and does not have written in her little phone book by her phone, and as if it did not appear at least twice on her caller id from me calling her back after she hung up on me.

Anyway. whine whine whine.