Well when my wife and I went to marriage counseling he asked us both how commented we both were to working on the marriage, I said I was 100% committed, she said not so much, that hit me like a sledge hammer blow to my heart. I know the pain you describe.

Now one thing that he did say that gave me a bit of hope, was that sometimes the people who claim to be the most committed often are the ones who work the least on the marriage, and sometimes the ones who say they don't want to work on the marriage turn out to be the ones who work the hardest.

Counseling is hard, any kind, hope for the best but know that things are going to be difficult even if in the end things work out fine it will be a rough road.