Thanks for the advice. Do you have any advice on this mood chart? I've never done one of those before. I did get a journal recently because I want to start writing down everything that I am doing each day and how I am reacting to it.

This is the first time in my life (starting this past January) that I have been 100% honest with doctors and therapists. I have been in and our of therapy for about 23 years. I really felt that if I didn't start doing it right this time that I probably wouldn't get another chance. Things really did get that bad. I held nothing back - my behavior, my moods, my feelings, everything I've been through no matter how ashamed of the things I've done or what has been done to me, etc. I told the doctors and intake folks everything. This is why they gave me the diagnosis of PTSD. I told them how everyone close to me, including myself, really feels that bipolar is what is going on, but the doctor stuck with PTSD because of the traumatic events and the therapist is the one that says it can't be bipolar because of the lack of cheating on my wife.

Anyhow, do you (or anyone else) have any resources on mood charts? I am looking into a state run clinic that might actually give me a little more help as far as a doctor is concerned. I did talk with my therapist today and I was very firm with my beliefs, I told him all about what has been going on and my history, and he now sees where he may have been wrong to toss that aside and he admits that he shouldn't have said that to begin with since he is not a doctor. He admits that, even though he is not a doctor and can't make a diagnosis, that based on what he sees and even the behavior I've shown over the past few months, that I probably do suffer from bipolar (his statement about the cheating was made about 2.5 months ago).

Anyway, I'm really hoping that I can find a doctor that will be consistent and one that will listen. I can't keep up with this up and down and back and forth. Its ruined pretty much everything that is good in my life. Right now I'm back on top of the world, and I don't know how long it will last, but I know its only a matter of time....