This post is a huge trigger. Don't say I didn't warn you guys. I want to know how many of you have a passive death wish? The reason why I'm asking this is my T seemed to be SO concerned that I have a passive death wish. It doesn't seem like a big deal to me at all. She asked "Is it because you don't value your life?" Duh!!! Of course I didn't say "duh" to T. I only said it in my head. She asked why I didn't value my life and man we dugged so deep into it that I cried so hard. Now I feel like I'm more messed up than I thought I was. I didn't think I was that sad. WTH? Now I can't stop crying. I feel like my life should be given to someone who would value it. I feel emotionally numb at times and I hate it so much. My interest in life has been severely lacking for almost ten years now. A life without much interest isn't a life worth valuing. So what's so wrong about having a passive death wish when I'm mentally tramatized and it's not like I chosed to be. It was inflicted upon me. I've tried to cope with it and it's been a tough battle.