Thanks all for your replies. The meaning of a passive death wish huh?

"A passive death wish exists when you prefer to be dead but you are unwilling to take active steps to bring this about."

It's not like I sit and think that I want to die or have fantasies about dying. Lately, it gets triggered by my surroundings. Like last week I witnessed my sister's n-laws in a heated arguement and her FNL said to her MNL "You don't love me? I'm going to kill all of you." It was a threat but I could care less. I was thinking "Go ahead if that will make you feel better and if that will make your anger go away. I could really care less." What I cared about was my sister's kids. They are all under the age of 7. I didn't want the kids to witness such F'ed up crap. I called sis up and asked her if I could remove them from the situation and she consented. I just wanted to protect the kids because they are extremely vulnerable. When it comes to me, I couldn't give a damn. I think this troubles T.