Hi, I REALLY appreciate your input and the different perspective/experience. I guess I see how it may be that I'm just afraid of getting closer. There are a lot of things it could be. I just want my therapist to tell me which one it is because I feel like I can't tell for myself who I am or what I want or what I'm feeling or what is right or what I'm worth. I am trying to defer to her, and I'm pretty sure she won't let me.

I'm going to bring some of this up tomorrow, maybe. My obsession with this other person is getting a lot more intense and maybe I'm just kicking it up a notch because I want to create drama but it's still probably worth talking about.

I just wish I could find the confidence and trust in myself to be okay and to TRUST that I'm okay. If I could do that, I think I could be fine and move on. I am doing way better than I ever was, but I remained deeply insecure.