O! It makes me so happy to have made you feel a bit better! I am often pensive, too. I live nearby, and teach at a major university. I am a bit different in that I make friends with my students. To me, many of my students are more real than the faculty here. The faculty are a bit snooty, full of themselves. Maybe one day you will come to my university and take a class with me! It would be fun. And please practice trying to be kinder to yourself. You are good and worthy of affection.