Hi. If this is inappropriate for this thread, please kindly redirect me to where I need to go.

My name is Kyle. I haven't been on PsychCentral forums for a long while. I guess I was doing a little better, then I've had something crop up recently and have found that I really need a greater sense of community in my life.

I have literally no one in my day-to-day life. Either it's because the people around me can't accept me and would rather dump me altogether ... or it's because I'm terrified of meeting new people.

Anyway, I've found more and more over the last few weeks that I need different people to talk to. My therapist is a good one, but I feel like we're never really going to get anywhere fast. Only an hour a week to work on problems that plague me 24/7 and for the last 36 years of my life?! I don't need more therapists. I just need some people to talk to, to share life with, to build a sense of community.

I recently lost the only support network I had outside of therapy. My brothers, being drug-addled and perpetually drunk and miserable, decided they were going to act in ways that made it impossible for me to continue speaking to them. I do have a few friends on Facebook I talk to, but none are very helpful when it counts. I do my best to maintain contact with them and such, but they have limitations themselves. Many of my "friends" there follow me for whatever reason and don't try to engage with me, especially when I'm in a crisis and need the most help. I do my best to help them, but the feeling isn't as mutual as I'd like.

I'm very shy, I suffer from agoraphobia and possibly Avoidant Personality Disorder. I recently met someone I'm interested in romantically, but there have been so many bumps and bruises just four weeks in that I'm not sure it will be a good fit for me. I just need someone else to talk to, if only so I can get the sense that I'm not the only person in the entire world who has been through these types of experiences. I hate to admit it, but I've been calling both the local crisis hotlines available to me fairly religiously over the past few weeks; I don't know how to handle most of the things I'm feeling in this relationship.

Does anybody understand what I'm going through? Will anyone take the bait and talk with me? Am I just an attention-starved drama king and I just need to shut up and get a life? Do they really need to lock me away because I'm just too messed up to be walking around free like this? Can anybody hear me?