I just lost someone very close to me. We were extremely serious about each other, leaving our partners for each other, living together as much as possible, meeting the families, shopping for wedding rings, planning our dream wedding for as soon as my divorce was final. I asked her what would happen if it came down to a choice between her rich but abusive ex boyfriend; and love, but no money, with me. She told me she would choose me. Then it happened, and she caved and chose him and his money over me and love. That hurts. A lot. But you have to keep going. I can't predict your future any more than I can predict mine, but I do know you have to face it and keep putting one foot in front of the other and see what it holds. I know you're hurting. Just reading your post makes me hurt for you. But you have to go on. Set small goals. Promise yourself you'll make it through the end of the day, just one day. Then do it again tomorrow. Keep working at it, and your life will slowly come back and show you what else it has in store for you. Stay with us. We're here to help you.