Maybe she made mistakes as a mother(as all mothers do) and she is not insightful enough to realize how her actions have hurt you... or on the other end maybe she does realize she made mistakes and just can't cope with it. Looking at it in a realistic way, maybe your mom can't handle her actions and can't forgive herself or admit to herself that she didn't do the right thing all the time. That is sad and it hurts to know someone has to deal with that kind of guilt. It also hurts to know you dealt with the rejection and flat out abandonment and I'm sure you are still dealing with it now. I know how it feels and I'm sorry you went through that.