Hi Valis,

I have had similar problems, it’s a way of coping with overwhelming feelings, and thoughts, which Trauma and Abuse has embedded into our minds and hearts. Therapy has helped me understand, that old coping mechanisms, including the need to runaway, are part of the Traumatic reliving of past events. If you don’t mind, I can share a few tools that have helped me over the last few months.

Affirmation statements:

I am not alone (any abuse or trauma victim can relate to feeling so terribly alone, with no one to hear their cries and/or safe person to turn, especially if the Trauma was chronic and abusive in nature)

I am cared for (again, the feeling of isolation and dealing with things by oneself, starts a repetitive cycle of thinking that no one cares, it’s almost a form of self brainwashing, it keeps you silent, why talk to anyone if “no one cares” or “no one would understand”, or “it will only make things worse” ) *I chose to use the word “for” instead of “about”, because I care “about” allot of things, but being cared “for” supports the previous affirmation statement, “I am not alone”, that someone truly cares for me, and not just about me.

I do not have to Runaway (the need to Runaway from the uncontrollable tide of feelings, images, and other internal mechanisms that PTSD initiates when something triggers the cycle) * Again, I chose to use the word “have” to overcome the word “need”, what this has done is allowing for choice. I choose to fight the “need”, to allow whatever it is that is encompassing me at that moment, to process, endure it, and use the first two statements, to hopefully release the “need’s” grip over my behavior and thinking.

I am sorry for being so wordy, but again these have helped me over the last few months, and by sharing them I hope to offer my support and comfort to you. Please take care, and hope you find that you are not alone with your struggles here and find strength to fight the “need” to Runaway from the horrible emotional burden which you are struggling with.