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Well, I can say this. I have been in multiple situations where I have been uncomfortable around my mate's family. Not necessarily the same exact scenario as you posted, but I have been made to feel uncomfortable. At the time, the best thing for me to do was distance myself from them. And I will be honest, I still somewhat distance myself because I don't want to react to the things that they do. When he goes to visit, I keep my ***** at home. For the most part. If we go to visit his mom, I am cordial, respectful, but I ain't kissen *****. Lol. Seriously, I am respectful and I just lay low. Things have gotten somewhat better as time has passed. So, there is hope for you. The problem is, this is his family, so, to a certain degree, you have to be able to mingle with them.
Let me tell you this. What you went through, it could have been worse. I mean, me and my bf's family, it got a little intense to say the least. As I said, I backed off. I know me, I know my reactions, so I just laid low for awhile to keep the peace, keep my sanity, and keep my relationship. What you are going through, you need to realize that even though your bf may be accepting this now, it might start to wear on him. He might not want to keep hearing the talk about his parents. I guess everyone is different. Me and my bf's biggest arguments are over his friends and family. All of whom I feel he puts BEFORE me. The person who cooks, cleans, and takes care of him. Ok, not to make this too personal. But really, this could become a wedge between you two so do what you can to just try to let it go. Finances and family are two of the top reasons people break up.
What I did in my personal situation, is again, just laid low and realize that this is just how these people are. I don't like it, but I can't change it. If I have to accept him, I have to, to a degree, accept them. I wouldn't let them walk all over me. You did right by keeping your mouth closed as much as you could at the dinner table. Because it could have ended bad.
You have to understand that when it comes to men, sometimes they don't want to get in the middle of things/the situation. Your man is trying to keep the peace. That's what it sounds like. The fact that he hasn't told them how he feels could also be an indication that he is only saying it bothers him to pacify you. Then again, you know him better than me. Try to let it go as best as you can. If you keep bringing this up, it could become a rift in your relationship. Give things time. I know it's tough. I feel your pain. Good luck...
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Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, & Wisdom to know the difference.
To live is to suffer, and to survive is to find meaning in that suffering
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