I totally understand that! I hear you 100%. I too, was never "normal" to begin with, and like you, I don't know if any childhood experiences helped to "contribute" to what is going on now.

But we do live in a pretty messed up society. I wonder myself sometimes, why even bother with trying to blend in with it, and do I even want to?

I am going to take suggestions from earlier and also seek some therapy in hopes of controlling the symptoms, but maybe being different than everyone else is okay. (even though it is truly isolating at times!)

Its good to have a place to vent.