Dan,
Good to hear a bit of rest helped. I can relate to you and I want to say the best advice I got, was to get out of my own way. I don't have the answers for why I talk negative to myself or want to hurt myself, but the idea is to not get to the point that you are on auto-pilot. You need to be in the moment, take a deep breath and ya, go for a walk, play with your kid, write stuff down, dig a hole in your back yard then fill it in again. Just do something to keep busy like a hobby, other than drinking or pills. I found after I stopped drinking and passing out, I liked to taste other things to drink. Lemonade, soda, juices, iced drinks, and Ice water.
Find something you like to do, and get your mind to think of that. I have a meditation CD by my bed and when I wake up, I put it on.
I write down stuff to go over with my t, when they come up. It will all work, just give it time. And we are all hear to listen and help eachother.