I'm not male, but I have a similar problem. I have a lot of anxiety built up around the idea of sex and was questioning for awhile whether or not I was asexual. I decided I wasn't because I would like a healthy sexual relationship (not that a nonsexual relationship isn't healthy, I mean I don't want an unhappy sexual relationship). Every time I think about being in a relationship, one of the first thoughts that comes into my mind is "I'll be expected to have sex, probably 2-5 times a week. That seems like a lot. That's way too much of a pregnancy risk and I just don't know if I could be happy having sex all the time." I don't want to think like that. The idea of "I don't know what I'm doing, my partner won't like it because I'm not good enough at it, so we'll fight over sex because I feel like I'm failing so I avoid it and we break up" further pushes me away from any relationships I might come across. It's a vicious cycle. Call it performance anxiety, call it closet asexuality, call it anything you want, if you feel it's a problem, it's a problem. I personally feel like it's a problem in my life. I'm not able to live my life the way I would like because of this. If you find any answers or good advice, or want to chat about it, let me know!